Some updates

quick updates for today:

1. i was on warning today after 4 days of being on projection. i could have told anyone this was going to happen after my lovely stomach ache i got after lunch yesterday. i must confess though, i was happy i was on warning and not projection, a thought i know is from my ED.

2. because i was on warning, my meal plan went up AGAIN. so now i have an extra 4oz of ensure at afternoon snack along with what i already had and 12oz of carnation instant breakfast at evening snack along with what i already had. RIDICULOUS! they don't even give you a chance to see if maybe tomorrow i would have been on projection again.

3. LUNCH: basically everything was a "risk" food or had some element of a risk food to it. risk foods were: salt n vinegar chips, jelly on the PB sandwich, pineapple juice and ICE CREAM. the chips, jelly and juice were all minor though. ive been having chips and juice here for a while, just not THOSE kinds but the jelly was something i haven't had in a LONG time, but it wasn't a lot so it was ok. the ice cream was a rather big deal since i haven't had ice cream in a LONG time and the times i had had it before i cut it out of my diet, i ALWAYS purged after. needless to say, it was a big deal, but since it was only a little hoodsie it was manageable. the little hoodsie was a step, but it's the "real" ice cream i fear and that will be a big challenge.

4. the usual person who runs creativity group was not here this weekend so one of the therapists--my individual one--filled in. group still turned out really fun, but only because us girls thought of some great games to play. yea MAFIA!

5. for the 4th weekend in a row i had to stay here while the rest of the girls who are on caf got to go on an outing. there were only 4 of us here for dinner tonight...the four of us who are not on caf yet, but of course i am the one who has been here the longest out of all of us. hopefully i can get on caf this week--that is if i am weight eligible, i have to be 80% of ideal body weight--and go on the outing this coming weekend.

6. finished my sister's keeper today. that is the fourth book ive read while here. i also started the third book in the twilight series today, eclipse.

7. finished my cross stitch yesterday that i had originally planned to give to my parents for Christmas last year. its the biggest and most intense one ive done so far--15x9.

8. im having a smores pop tart for snack tonight. what?!?! i have not had one of those in a long time and would NEVER think of allowing myself to eat that under normal circumstances. of course im having this plus my two granolas and 12oz of CIB. oh the joys of weight gain.

9. tomorrow i am anticipating a tough therapy session because i think im am going to bring something up that occurred a long time ago that has really affected me in SO many ways. i had my mom bring me my diary from a long time ago so i could read what i wrote about. i think i am going to read some of these entries in therapy. i hope it can stir up some emotion within me because i know how important it is to connect with those feelings and really feel them.

i guess im ok other than that. ta ta for now!